I know this looks kinda bad
But I swear, it wasn’t me
This is how I found it…
I’m innocent, you see.
Why are you so angry?
I’m well-behaved and sweet
So how about a little ‘fetch’
And then a tasty treat?

Funny Poems & More
I know this looks kinda bad
But I swear, it wasn’t me
This is how I found it…
I’m innocent, you see.
Why are you so angry?
I’m well-behaved and sweet
So how about a little ‘fetch’
And then a tasty treat?
I like a coffee now and then
But I drink much more tea
I like it made a certain way
Oh, my children pick on me!
Milk in first, I take it weak
You should hear my daughter
“Mum, that’s not a cup of tea
What you’ve got is dirty water!”
The taunting goes on and on
How I wish it would stop…
“Mum doesn’t dunk her tea bags
She waves them over the top!”
They always say they’re joking
But, I just don’t buy it…
So, I’ll take my cup of tea
And go sit somewhere quiet!
I recall a young man named Dennis
Who got angry when he played tennis
Oh, he’d scream and shout
Throw his racquet about
That Dennis, he was quite a menace!
We boarded a domestic flight
Found our seats in a short while
My hubby asked “Want the middle?
Or would you prefer the aisle?”
I glanced upon the window seat
There sat a blonde goddess
Tanned, thin, full of grace…
And wearing a short dress.
I turned to my dear husband
Replied with a wry smile
“How about I take the middle
And you, hon, take the aisle?”
We settled down into our seats
And as I fastened up my buckle
I glanced at her, then at him
And had a quiet chuckle.
So many resolutions
Which should I choose?
Drink far more water
But much less booze?
Eat plenty of vegies
And less junk food?
Reduce stress levels
To improve my mood?
Cut down on waste
To be more “green”?
Re-do the garden
Keep the house clean?
Do more exercise
To work on my health?
Cut down on spending
To work on my wealth?
Be more organised
To get “stuff” done
Hang on a minute…
These are no fun!!
Oh, those resolutions
Are making me queasy
Perhaps I’ll resolve
To take this year easy
To spend more time
Relaxing by the beach
Now there’s a life goal
I’ll be happy to reach!
The new year is almost here
Oh, it’s going to be great
The new year is almost here
And I can hardly wait!
For I’ve been counting down
The weeks and days, you see
I’ve been counting down…
To the return of G.o.T!
Happy New Year! Kathy 🙂
The Christmas cards in the shops
Have scenes of ice and snow
But, they all seem out of place
For it’s summer here, you know.
Show me cards with beach scenes
With sand (and barbecues)
Santa in T-shirt and shorts
Those are the cards I’ll choose!
I have a degree, on display
It hasn’t been used, I must say
I was quite deflated
Got a job unrelated
The best thing about it? The pay!
There was a young gambler called Glen
Who owed cash to some serious men
They came for their loot
Gave him concrete boots
And poor Glen was not seen again.
Rearranged my spice rack
To get it looking neat
Even labelled all the lids
An organising feat!
It made me strangely happy
A spice rack void of strife
But, it got me thinking
That I really need a life!